Who turned off the lights???

The high dive, the bungee swing at Kings Island, zip-lining between two mountain peaks, or even sitting on the edge of a cliff… (okay, I was a little bit of a dare devil in my youth) but climb it, jump it, swim across it activities never frightened me… my mother probably had a few stoke moments, but I love the feeling of freefalling, the moment when it is over and you can look around and go ‘huh… I did that…’ like I said, not the smartest decision maker… lol… but man was it fun…

and not one of those moments had me pausing, wondering if I should back out, fearing the worst… I even decided to swim across Grayson Lake, just to see if I could… I knew that I could float all day if I had to (seriously people, I bob around like a dang raft..) It wasn’t until I got home, told mom and watched her face turn white that realized maybe I should have thought things through a little more… like swimming parallel to rocky shoreline so that I didn’t have to worry about boat running me over…

I do have a problem with the thought of sharks and I absolute detest the beach (I mean, who really wants deal with sand that has a mind of its own and will crawl into every crack and crevasse??? that’s just wrong… but still I go out into the water (I run back when things start touching me, but the fear isn’t enough to stop me)

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But when I started losing my sight, with dark clouds building around the edges, because of MS… I broke down… I was already having issues because my case was fast and out of nowhere and it affected my personality… I acted like a toddler, with out of control emotions and absolute trust that the adults would fix things…but something (and I’m not sure what… something said or maybe a random thought) scared the life out of me…

It may have been the eye exam they took me to while I was in the hospital… (that was a horrible experience but too long for right now) anyhow, one thing got stuck in my head and wouldn’t let go… ‘I wouldn’t be able to read the last Harry Potter’ sounds silly, but at that moment, that was devastating… I bawled like my life was over…

thankfully, my sight came back… but even if it hadn’t, my mother (my rock) was there… she told me not to worry… if I couldn’t read, she would read it to me… with MS, you never know when things may change (for good or bad) but I hope everyone finds their person, their rock, the one that can take your devastation and make everything bearable…

and if you want to donate to Walk MS, Click HERE

or if you just want to check out my Walk MS post, Click HERE

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