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Author Tracey Clark

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Howdy all… this is Tracey Clark here… I am a country twang gal from Kentucky… I also live with MS… Diagnosed in 2005, I went through years of being lost… when I first got sick, the MS came on hard and nearly killed me… the doctors didn’t know why I could walk, they didn’t know why I wasn’t blind… I had trouble walking, talking, writing, making sense and understanding what was going on around me…

When the doctors came in to my hospital room and told me that they would have to drill into my brain if the steroids didn’t shrink the ‘spots’ showing up on my MRI, I happy said ‘Okay, but can you check on my mommy, she keeps crying’… when I first got sick, it happened so fast and without previous incidents (normal flare-ups where the legions cause falls, sight problems, speech and walking issues… basically everything that was happening to me all at once) … this caused some confusion… the doctors tested for everything… and finally decided that it had to be either MS or brain cancer… ergo, if the ‘spots’ on my MRI didn’t shrink from liquid IV filled with steroids, then it had to be brain cancer and needed to be biopsied …

Because of my addled mind, I felt and acted like a toddler… and like a toddler, I wanted my mom happy, and I knew that she and the other adults could fix anything… all I wanted was yummy food and gifts… when well wishers would come to visit, they would ask what we all ask in this situations… was there anything they could do for me??? and I would answer ‘You could bring me a present!’… I told one of my aunts that I wanted a pony, and I told my mother that I needed a stuffed teddy…

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And when the doctor checked my sugar, the steroids had jumped it up to 400… she looked at me and said, ‘don’t worry… it’s okay for your sugar to get higher than 400 every once and awhile’… HA… biggggggg lie… but then, they all thought that I would die…

But here I am… MS kills, it confuses, and it changes on a dime… I can’t tell anyone with finite answers just exactly how I have managed to survive or why I am doing as well as I am… what I can do is share what I have gone through, and what I have done… hopefully, my words will help in some way… I am a firm believer that the only way to fight fear is to unmask the unknown… living with, or knowing someone with MS is frightening… so let’s talk about it…

One of the ways I coped in the beginning was to do arts and crafts… mom would sit on the bed and make beaded jewelry with me… the motions of getting the elastic string through the tiny bead hole helped my motor functions… childish games on a handheld PSP helped with understanding and processing… *push A button and your player jumps, push B button and your player runs* that kind of thing… and always, always…. I immediately stopped what I was doing if  my head started to hurt… but most of all, I made up stories….

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When I first fell ill, writing a complete story was beyond me… I would just day-dream of different worlds and characters… about five years later, I started to get a little better at writing down my thoughts… when the MS first took hold, I couldn’t even write down my own name… being able to write down short sentences/basic information was a big step up… Now, ten years later, I have my first book baby published… Writing is a big part of hope I coped with my MS, and now I can share my stories with others.. hopefully my second novel will be published in 2016… I believe that having hobbies/something to focus on helped my brain to reroute the processes that I had lost… even healthy people can benefit from hobbies/crafts/arts…. but the brain is a marvelous thing…. give it something to do and see what happens….

Happy wordage everyone…. Tracey Clark

if you would like to read more about ME… head on over to my author’s site and enjoy…. 😛

Author Tracey Clark‘s Site

to find out more about my books go to the Finder’s Keepers Series blog

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MS News

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Exactly… lol… let’s just say that it is a good thing that i write while in a comfortable position…

I love my words, and I love the worlds and characters that I am able to create, buuuutttt…. the dang edits knock me on my arse… about an hour, that’s all I get… then my eyes get heavy, my eyes start to cross, and between one breath and the next I am out like a light… I wake up a few hours later (lucky if my laptop hasn’t crashed to the floor) and go back to my edits… Writing saved my life, and helped me to cope with all the losses when I was first diagnosed… there was a lot that i couldn’t do for years… but luckily, i had my stories… at first i couldn’t write or type… but I could imagine and dream up stories to tell myself… It took about five years before I could finish writing a sentence without passing out, and or crying with a headache… It has taken a lot of time, but for now, I can write and come up with story after story… now if I could only pass off the edits to someone else… lol…

no one seems to get it… the phrase ‘just lay down when you get tired’ is hurtful and completely missing the point… the point being that I don’t have time to slid into bed, I don’t have time to put my computer in a safe place, and I definitely don’t have time uncross my eyes… 😛 my brain looks at those continuous edits and says ‘nope, no more, I’m leaving’

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When I do catch on quick enough to the fact that my brain has had enough (and I’m not just bored to death with edit), I can try to change tracks… stop editing and move on to one of my craft projects… It isn’t that I hate edits, it is the process of cognitive input… for some reason, I can make up stories and write blogs until the cows come home, but ask me to research or fill out a questionnaire… that’s when my brain starts to get cross… hmph…

As for going off to bed for a catnap??? Who wants to be in bed all the time? If I stopped everything to take a nap every time there was even a hint of exhaustion, I would be in bed 70% of the time… booo… I already feel like I missed ten years of my life while I was dealing with my disease… I was hit hard when I was diagnosed… one moment I was a 25 year old college student and the next I was in a hospital bed, acting like a five year old… Why I got better, I don’t know… I just know that Multiple Sclerosis can throw a person into blindness, but that days or months, or even years, your sight can come back… which to me means that we should never give up hope…

getting sick sucks, but life changes on a dime, figure out what you want to do, and then go day by day figuring out what you can do… if you can’t drive to the store today, order a pizza and drive to the store tomorrow… When i am really down, I have my mother for support… somehow, she manages to pull me out of my MS blues when something I want to do is suddenly impossible… I hope that every one out there (MS or not) has someone in their life that can be there for time half as much as my Mother is for me…

Happy wordage everyone… I hope you enjoy the second friday of the month/MS news post… Tracey Clark