Tag Archives: back pain

Aches and Pains… sigh

I don’t know about the rest of y’all but the holidays kicked my MS behind… it is amazing how something like cooking can put you in serious need of R&R, and wrapping presents??? forget about it… the Clark household is all about reusable present bags and boxes… yep, it is a standing rule in our home that the gift is yours but the container (bag/box) isn’t to leave the house…

and for those gifts that we are forced to pass out while out and about, we use dollar store X-mas bags… bending over and cutting paper, taping, and attempting to force Christmas paper to behave??? go ahead and skip the pain… invest in lots of decorative boxes… ­čśŤ

as for the big holiday meal??? mom wanted my ham this year, and once I start in the kitchen with a meal like this, I can’t help myself… I want the ham to be perfect and tender, the potato salad to be delicious (fyi: made while potatoes are still hot) and the rolls are buttered to melt in your mouth…

truthfully, I want my mother to enjoy the festive season as much as possible… between that and my OCD quirks, I end up overdoing… a big no-no, but the meal was to die for and the gather went great…

all in all, the season was worth it but painful (wanted to cry in pain a few times) and we all had a lot of fun… we are all also ready to say goodbye to the insanity that is the holiday season… I hope everyone managed to enjoy the passing of another year (painful or not) and that you guys are ready to start a new year… let’s all create something wonderful… for my part I hope to get my latest novel (Artistic Beauty) out by early March…

that’s it for now… happy wordage, Tracey

Pain in the Arse

 

Dead leg… what the heck is going one here…

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I haven’t had any episodes of true numbness… thank heavens… but it does seem like I can’t stand to sit in a chair like a normal human being with out my legs and arse falling asleep… quickly…

and then the pain hits… which just seems unfair… I can’t sit in a theater, or reception hall for any length of time without the inevitable sleepy bum and antsy legs… and then OMG the pain… I can barely make it through a movie, and sitting through a graduation or awards ceremony is torture…

it is depression to realize that supporting my cousin at her college graduation is going to be painful and that the tears in my eyes will be less for the pride I will feel for her accomplishments and more for the depression welling up in my heart… I mean… no one wants to realize that their life is soooo very different from everyone else’s life… all of those other people in the stands will be beaming with their happiness… while I will be leaning one way and then the other, just┬áto relieve the ache building in my backside, not to mention the pins and needles racing down my legs…

and if I don’t get up and move, the pain finds its way into my back… but does it stop there… ohhhhh nooooo… I have now reached the point where I either need to lie down, get in a lazy-boy and prop up my legs, or if it is really back, get in a hot bath… and on top of being depressed that I can’t just sit through the event like everyone else, am embarrassed, which usually brings on the tears…

I remember sitting through one of my cousins weddings when I was barely a year into my diagnosis with MS… and I moved so dang slowly… but anywho… I had sat through the event, the pain had started, and I saw the long line of people waiting to congratulate the couple… there was no way I was going make it stand in that line, and no way I could make it down stairs to the reception in the church basement, let alone stand or sit around celebrating the nuptials… and it was early in my disease, meaning emotions were even more out of control than they are now… soooo I broke into tears… sobs actually…and mom had to make our excuses, which was embarrassing, and caused even more tears…

mainly because I knew that there were going to be people that looked at me and didn’t understand… they wouldn’t know why I was sobbing or why I was leaving… so yeah… ms sucks… at least when my other cousin graduates from college, it will be quiet tears of pain and pride, without the sobs…

I almost wish that my cousin would take a few more years to graduate,┬áand as for the movies… I go┬áto maybe one a year… and it has to be something I am dying to see, because I know halfway through my body will start to feel like I am on my last legs, so I will need something great to take my┬ámind off of what is happening to my body…

MS can really suck, so work with it and around it… otherwise it will drive you insane…

and if you want to donate to Walk MS, Click HERE

or if you just want to check out my Walk MS post, Click HERE

Starting Fires…

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When someone asks me to explain Multiple Sclerosis to them, I say it is like holes are being burned into your brain… Owwwww… but that is basically what it is like… an electrical fire…

information gets passed from neuron to neuron, sending little electrical surges to get the info from point A to point B… then somewhere along the way, something goes wrong… because of MS, the electrical surges that a healthy brain can use and process builds/hits a wall/spikes…

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On a MRI, these spikes show up as white areas… AKA: electrical fires… or lesions… and when these fires burn out, they leave a black spot… basically a black hole… so when I say that I have holes in my head, I mean that literally…

March is MS Month… reach out to everyone you know, and lets raise money to find a cure, to put out the fires… donate on my national MS page, or start your own… and enjoy each day…

and if you want to donate to Walk MS, Click HERE

or if you just want to check out my Walk MS post, Click HERE

My body, my pain!

For the most part, I agree with this… but not completely…

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I learned over time that there were different types of pain… just like there were different types of stomach upset… I mean… acid reflux may make you vomit but it has nothing to do with nausea problems… you don’t take Phenergan when there is acid climbing up your throat… and popping some Nexium will do nothing to help with sea sickness or constant vomiting…

So I knew that my headaches wouldn’t be helped by pain pills… but when my back hurt too much for me to stand up straight, a pain pill dulled the issue until I could function during the day… but a switch of doctors, a crack down on pain pills and I ended up with General Physician that refused to touch the issue of my back pain, and referred me to a pain specialist that flat out told me she didn’t like to treat MS patients because they never get better… WTF…

after three visits, where she managed to make me cry (damn MS emotions) all three times, I said ‘the hell with this’ … I reduced my activity, made sure to stop doing anything that may aggravate my back, and stopped going to the ‘pain specialist’ … sorry guys, no happy thoughts this time… this is a hot button issue… from now on, I plan to watch out for the evil pain, and maybe by some vodka… lots of vodka…

and if you want to donate to Walk MS, Click HERE

or if you just want to check out my Walk MS post, Click HERE

Help change the World of MS…

I love this GIF, and felt like posting it a second time… but this post is about an upcoming MS event… Walk MS… you can find both Walk MS and Bike MS events in your area by following the links at the bottom of the post… We have five weeks and two days┬áuntil the day of the Walk for my area… I will be upping my MS posts until in the meantime… sharing my own MS insanity…

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Starting Monday, March 7th, Fundraising week begins… From Bike MS to Walk MS, there are dozens of ways to show your support… there is even something called Challenge Walk MS… Last year I participated in Walk MS, I even attempted to join in the mile walk around the park… Hmmmmm… that didn’t go so well for me… last year, my walking abilities weren’t as on par as they are this year and I ended up running out of steam less than half way through… it wasn’t pretty… I had to cut through the park, there were tears and embarrassment, but once I calmed down and had a chat with my momma, I enjoyed cheering everyone else on as sat in the shade sweating as if I had just finished a triathlon…

This year the Walk in my area will be across the bridge in neighboring WV… I managed to attempt participating last year because it was downtown at the park… I doubt I will make it this year, but I wanted to give a shout out to everyone giving and participating in this cause…┬á I also want to participate as a virtual walker…

I have said that MS helped me to find my passion in life, but without the drugs, doctors, and therapies for this disease, MS would have taken my life long ago… it is the support and volunteers that make continued research and development possible… I am grateful to everyone giving their time, donations, or just their kind words… it is because of you that I will get to continue writing and living a life I never envisioned, but that I find small joys in every day… when it comes down to it, it isn’t the big events in life that matter… it is the small moments that mean the most…

If you want to give or join up at your local Walk/Bike MS (and did I mention that Shemar Moore joined in Bike MS last year… yummy… I mean thanks for calling attention to this cause) just …

CLICK HERE to head over to my donation page for this years walk

CLICK HERE to learn more about Walk MS…

CLICK HERE to learn more about Bike MS…

Thank you to everyone taking a moment to learn/give to this cause… and happy wordage everyone…. Tracey Clark

Let’s Go Swimming

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Swimming has always been a therapeutic thing for me… but ever since I got sick, I have found that a warm bath will put me right to sleep… I swear, ten minutes in a nice warm tub and I am fast asleep… when I can’t sleep, I get in the tub and the next thing I know, it is ten in the morning… I spend hours in the watery bed… I prefer to call it swimming… lol… I don’t know if water does it for other Multiple Sclerosis patients, but for me it is my number one relaxation…

there are nights when my brain just won’t turn off… story ideas run through my mind, running loops through my internal hamster wheel… the only way to turn off the voices is to soak them out… lol… now, I hate edits, but I love to make up new stories… new ways for my characters to grow… right now, that is my Skymann family… I just got done running through some edits for the first book in the series, and off to the beta reader it flew… but that means there is room for the voices to start throwing out more ideas, more stories and characters…

But its about more than relaxing and brainstorming… the warmth of the tub has been my only escape from the pain in my legs and back when nothing else will work… miss firing electrons??? that’s what my doctors all say… I even went to a pain doctor, but she flat out said she didn’t like to treat MS patients because they can never get better… WTH??? So I will continue to soak and think, until the MS doctors realize that there are different types of pain for an MS patient, and only the patient can know what will and won’t work… (at least this is the way I see it for me)

there are the headaches that no amount of pain pill will help, though a vasodilator will relieve… (a pill that my doctors have chosen to stop prescribing, that god my headaches have become few and far between)… number two would be the joints and muscle pains… which I have found are better dealt with in a warm tub… it is a type of pain that reminds me of having the flu… everything aches… a warm bath helps…

and finally, there is the leg and back pain that makes me want to amputate something… it is a step above and beyond flu aches… it is an evil that refuses to go away… and something that has me spending eight hours in the bathtub… it is a pain that robs me of more sleep than any other internal voice could hope of stealing… and it is a pain that I know from experience responds to pain pills, but what do I know… its just my body…

flaming hair!!!

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My mother is a topic that I will bring up over and over… she is great… but my favorite stories are when she or I have done something hilarious… like the time she caught her hair on fire… what??? you don’t see how this can be funny… HA… I disagree…

she is my support system…. and always willing to go out and try the things on my MS wish list… one of which was a dinner theater… I had a great time, and purchased a number of dragon items… there were men on horseback and excellent food… not to mention the pina coladas … ymmmm

but by the end of the show both of our backs were killing us… mom has had a number of back surgeries and I???? MS strikes again… but she stuck it out so that I could experience my first dinner theater… on the way out, I wandered around looking at all the dragon art… *we had just been to dragoncon and they were in my head*

eventually mom needed to sit down, so I made myself pick between two of my favorite pieces… and then we went outside to wait for the cab (the car died by that is another story)

while we were waiting, I decided to run back in and get the other dragon piece… and left mom holding my cigarette … and her own… so I didn’t see what happened, but the retelling of it had me in stitches…

mom said she was holding the two cigs in one hand, while she bent forward to dig in her purse with the other… a shy looking Chinese woman pecked on her shoulder and said something that mom couldn’t understand… tired and hurting, mom said uh-huh, and went back to digging in her purse…

this is the point where a man from the group of about a dozen Chinese people came up and said ‘your hair on fire’… and they all burst into laughter … mom said she could hear them giggling all the way to their cars… lol…

she had held the cigs too close to her head while bending to get in her purse… see… smoking is dangerous…