Tag Archives: health

That pill does what?

peeing

So… a while ago, I complained about peeing on myself. Oh course, I blamed it on the MS. I had heard about that little surprise, and assumed that it was just another MS downer. But that didn’t mean that I remained silent and accepted it as my lot in life. Nope.

I complained to my doctors, I shared my whoos with friends, family, and you all. I am real big on sharing what you feel ashamed of, embarrassed of. It is amazing the amount of support you get, how all the shame lifts, and the number of people willing to then share their own similar stories.

Doctors on the other hand, they were a big let down. I got tired of feeling ignored when I said, “I have been peeing on myself. And I’m not talking about ‘whoops, there went a dribble’, nooooooo…. I am talking great big water falls”…. but nothing. But then my cousin (a PA, Doctor’s Assistant) was running through all the things that she knew that could cause my latest problem, and one of the things I could double check myself was meds.

I realized that my peeing issue had begun after I started taking a sleeping pill (doctor prescribed), and I immediately stopped taking the pill (TraZODone). Within the week I no longer had to jump on a pillow, a blanket… anything washable really… so that I could was out the urine without pulling up the floor. And when I had a visit with the doctor that prescribed the evil pill, and I explained all this to him, what did he say???

“Oh, yeah… that happens sometimes!”

What the hell… sooo…. beware my peeps… if you are having issues, check your meds… don’t just accept your fate, check the side affects on your meds. I don’t know about you guys but I would rather lose sleep than soak my bed.

Now I am back to editing my next novel.

check out my latest novel, Twin Findings – Finder’s Keepers, book 3

twin findings pic

Amazon

Pronoun – all other retail sites

 

Advertisements

Hello bladder issues…

Well, another day in the life of MS…. now my bladder has decided to become a silent assassin… yep… that is what I have… the organ is killing me, and doing it by sneaking up on me (usually when I first wake up, but hey, all hours of the day are fair game) and leaking by either dribbles or gallons…

and being me, I decided to tell anyone and everyone… why??? because it is embarrassing as all get out… and I have found that repeatedly sharing your horror & embarrassment helps to lessen that feeling, and the need to hide…

and it turns out, a lot of women pee on themselves… lol… so far, no men have stepped up and said “hey… I always have to worry about bathroom access…”

at my writer’s meeting the other day, we do updates on or progress, creativity, and whatnot… and one of my fellow writers also has MS… she is writing about her life with MS… so of course, her share time reminded me that ‘hey… I had some great fodder for her book’… after I blurted out that my latest MS-kick-in-the-pants (wet pants) was bladder weakness, she said “I’m the exact opposite… I feel like I am about to pee on myself, and then sit there for hours, not able to go…”

so I replied “I would be happy to trade you…” lol…

then at my cousin’s birthday get together (yep, I did say I shared my embarrassment anywhere and everywhere) I told some of our mutual friends about my leaky pipes, and one woman started nodding “I would work all day, with a bathroom right there, and never have to go… then on the way home it would hit me… some days I couldn’t even make it into the house… just stood in the driveway peeing all over myself…” she said…

I replied “sometimes I’m just like…” and here I looked down into my lap “well that just happened…”

and it is sooo true… my bladder has decided to stop alerting me to impending disaster… and if I forget to go to the restroom that one extra time (even if I went thirty minutes prior) I always wake up in trouble… one wrong move, one cough (oh don’t get me started on coughing and bladder issues) and flood gates open…

lol… later guys… I think I will run to the bathroom now… Tracey

Hmmmm I wonder???

Okay… the other day, I posted a few pic of famous peeps that have MS…. but that night, my body fell apart and stopped to wonder if I should have run the post… lol… okay, what I really wondered was where were their stories of breakdowns…

I want to read the stories that scream “Hey, they are just like me…” not another, just keep trying and reaching for your goals… I want the story about how they carry a change of clothes with them at all times in case bladder issues crop up… that would make sense to me…

what the heck brought this on, you ask??? lol… late night disaster… and it all started with a drink of diet coke… my favorite drink in the world… yep, I am addicted…

as happens from time to time, my lovely diet coke decided to go down my wind pipe and into the forbidden area of my lungs… not cool… but unlike usual, this time I couldn’t hack the stuff back up… and breathing was seriously becoming an issue… and if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to run for the restroom because the hacking had my abdominal muscles squeezing my bladder… ( and all of this from a sound sleep… I had woken up coughing, and taken a drink to sooth my throat… which soooo  didn’t work )

so a I make it safe and sound to the restroom, but no air ups the anti on my hacking, which lead to vomit… yep, you heard me… but at that point, the toilet was occupy so that my bladder did decide to go haywire… there was nothing for me to do, but to lean in the direction of the tub…. but I leaned a little too far…

needless to say, I ended up peeing in the floor after all my hard work … and to add insult to injury, I had already thrown up in the tub… the thing didn’t dirty was the toilet… it was as I cleaned the bathroom (thankfully able to finally breathe) to within an inch of its life, that I stopped to wonder where the news posts about these famous MS peeps were when they had to make a mad dash for the bathroom… because you know it has to happen… it is a horrible part of life…

the next day, I was feeling blue… and doubt and depression were filling my thoughts… “why continue writing, or painting, or going through the day to day motions???” … but then I opened my email and saw that I had a new review for my first novel…

By
This review is from: Shocking Finds: A Finder’s Keeper Novel (Paperback)
Judging by the author bio at the back of this book, Tracey Clark is obviously a very bubbly and charismatic personality, and this is evident in her writing style from the very beginning to the end of this entertaining Fantasy novel. Her storytelling technique immediately pulls the reader into her world of Fae who struggle to live in the everyday real world. This approach intrigued me right away because there was not too much out-of-this-world Fantasy to get familiar with, and the situation of the main character, Marin, not even knowing that she is a Fae Princess with tremendous powers also adds to the suspense and interest as the story unfolds.
Another prominent and positive feature of this book is that the author skilfully expresses thoughts and feelings from the two main characters: Marin and the man she is destined to be with, Kyland. In fact, this novel is also a beautiful, deep and intense love story, quite apart from the problems caused by Fae curses and helping Marin to understand and believe who she really is.
This book sets the scene for more books to come, and it is quite a lengthy book which took me some time to read, mainly because the writing style is engaging but also intense at times, so that you cannot skim through or skip anything. It is an involving read, but a very rewarding one for both Fantasy and Romance lovers alike, and I’ll be looking out for the sequel to this book!
It was a small thing, but reading this review helped pull me out of my way… I love getting these (and thankfully I have yet to get a bad review)… they are uplifting to me… and mean more to me than my readers will ever know… alrighty… that’s all for now… 😛 later MS peeps…

Keep it Down… Shhh

b

I complain about my sleeping issues all the time… to myself, to my dogs and mother… to you guys… it can be maddening… first you deal with the heat and headaches keeping you up at night… and if you’re like me, you end up exhausted after days of little to no sleep… lol… the easiest way for me to get to sleep is to do some research for one of my books… then, heat or no heat, my brain just shuts off… not sure if that counts as sleep or not, but after days of wide-eyed confusion, a girl has to do what a girl has to do…

but my lack of sleep has roots in more than just pain or heat… thinking can keep me up more thoroughly than any pain… it is something that started soon after my diagnosis… or maybe it started getting worse… I’m not sure… but my mind is always on this constant loop of plans, story ideas, sadness (if something happens or I watch a tear jerker), etc… really anything and everything keeps my the hamster wheel I call my thoughts to continuously spin… the one thing I have found that helps is to pop in a movie or tv DVD that I have watched a million times… the sound of something that I practically know by heart helps me sleep… if I have something on that I’ve never seen before, my mind wants to know more… insane, but even a B-rated horror flick would have my eyes popping back open so that I could see what happened next…

Underworld-Evolution-underworld-1154520_1280_960

anyone that has watched the first Underworld will (maybe) know what scene I’m talking about when I say that turn on the movie and as soon as the huge (and man, that guy has to be like 7 ft of pure muscle) black man that plays one of the werewolves, screams out ‘bloods’ in his deep bass, then starts shooting in the underground train station, I would start to drift to sleep… lol… for the first three years after my diagnosis, I drifted off to that base growl… poor mom… back then, she was so afraid of losing me that she sleep in the same room…

the room wasn’t really that big, so it wasn’t like she could put her bed far enough away that two hours of vampires, werewolves and gunfire on a loop didn’t keep her awake… but it was either that or I never slept…

hellboy-3

my second fave for a good night’s sleep was Hellboy… still very loud… but maybe a little less gun play… I think it was the sound of rapid fire explosions that quieted my mind, because Underworld was always better at putting me to sleep… but hey, a girl needed a change every once in a while… 😛

these days, it is helpful to put in a tv season that I have watched a million times… but lately, I have been thinking of going back to Underworld… sleeping in the tub is always easy, but I am getting prune lines… later guys… happy wordage…

Evil Confusion… Evil MS

f

I want to growl, maybe even howl… there is definitely a scream or two building up at the inefficiency of my mind… okay… that might be a little harsh… but still very true…

I love writing… which is very surprising seeing as I deal with MS (confusion) and dyslexia every day, and especially during the hotter summer months… as the temperature rises, my MS symptoms make themselves known… misunderstandings and an inability to verbalize my thoughts is frequent… but after growing up with the confusion and the lack of articulation associated with dyslexia, these symptoms are nothing new…

a

part of creating novels and short stories is research… something that I have always abhorred… but the added difficulties of living with MS has made evil research even worse… it’s hard to explain, but my brain sort of shuts down when faced with too much confusion… learning something new, or focusing on and answering questions creates a short circuit in my ability to stay awake… I simply pass out… it is maddening… and disheartening…

I want to create stories that can be enjoyed… stories with added tidbits of honest real world information to pull the reader in and allow them to visualize my words as if they were living the story…

g

finding a balance that allows my mind to work at its own pace, and my creative side to put together works I consider worthy of publishing is hard… but in the end it is worth it… there is a pride and joy that overcomes me as my words become published works… it is a type of high, a high of accomplishment… (oh course, then I have to deal with writer’s depression… something that happens after the publishing phase is over and down with… but I deal with that by taking on art projects and starting on new writing projects… )

if the confusion of MS symptoms and dyslexia were too overwhelming (or not worth enduring) I never would have finished my first novel… now if I could just find a way to stay conscious during research, life would be a lot easier to navigate…

good luck with life, and good luck with you own MS symptoms during this overwhelmingly hot season… happy wordage, tracey

sign up for Finder’s Keepers Newsletter and receive updates on future works… 😛

OMG … my head

head

lol… I know what my brain is telling me… it is screaming that I have MS and need to slow down… the month of may has been way to full of activity… I know that I need to avoid stress and heat, and listen to my body… but sometimes all I hear is ‘blah, blah, blah…’

I hate the feeling of being hampered by my MS, but that is the way of it… grrr…

okay, now that the growling is out of the way, I have to think of ways to work with my MS… my hardest obstical is Sleep… I toss and turn, sleep in the tub, and wake up exhausted… when I sleep in the bed, I roll in circles and end up tossing my pillows all over the place.. sometimes my head ends up where my feet should be… and falling asleep in the first place is a real back in the arse…

but my heads main problem is Smell… I took mom to get a perm earlier this month, and ended up sitting outside to avoid the smells… man… it had to be the strongest solution ever created for a perm… and then we rested up for a mother/daughter church dinner with granny-2…  I guess my brain/smeller was already in hyper-drive… as soon as we walked into the reception/fellowship area my nose was assaulted by the smell of freshly cut onions… my eyes began to water and my head to ache… omg… and the dang onions were at the other end of the room…

sooo… I had a few headaches this month, but I got a lot done… finished camp nano with 70,000+ words (one and half novels in rough draft form), worked on a new art project, and checked out Lake Cumberland with mom… a little pain, but all in all, I have had some great moments this month…

happy wordage, tracey

watch me run…

ms1

I ran… the wind blew, the sweat started to drip, my breathing accelerated, and still I ran… I became a bullet train of MS glory… muhahahaha

okay… that isn’t me… and my distance my seem trivial to some, but to all you MSers out there, when I say I managed to beat my time on the 25 foot walk, it will mean something… when I first got sick, 25ft felt like miles… a marathon of pain… and then I had to sit down… and that was after I had bounced off the walls as I wobbled down the hall… and my time… HA… a lot embarrassed me back then… now I share everything… bladder issues, jumbled words, or loss of basic abilities… but at the time I wanted to cry… I felt like I needed to push harder, like people (even my dr) would look at me and think “She isn’t even trying… there’s nothing wrong with her!!!”

back then my 7+ seconds time was humiliating… as I grow with my MS, and accept more limits, and strive for goals, I am better equipped to handle the ups and downs… but this one, folks, was definitely an up… 2 seconds… point-5 seconds faster than my last time…  and what fancy foot wear did I don in preparation for my big run???

ms2

HA… no tennis shoes for this girl… I showed up for appointment with my comfy flip flops on my feet… but this 25ft walk (or in my case run) is serious business… lol… so I kicked them off… and my doc, well accustomed to my ways by now, told the little nurse in training to “back out of the way…. she really is gonna run” … lol… in my stance and off I went… it is the small accomplishments that help to balance out the crap… and that 25ft is now my favorite part of the neurologist’s office… that and my doc is funny… that is why I think she will totally appreciate my runners gear…

ms

I soooo need to find something like this… 😛 … day by day, highs and lows, I want everyone to keep shooting for those small moments… it can be anything… a good time on your 25ft walk, a day without headaches, making something that has been giving you trouble for years… each small moment gives hope … and, for me, usually a smile… because I am well aware that I am acting like a silly monger, but for once I am having fun with my MS… tracey