Tag Archives: sleep

That pill does what?

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So… a while ago, I complained about peeing on myself. Oh course, I blamed it on the MS. I had heard about that little surprise, and assumed that it was just another MS downer. But that didn’t mean that I remained silent and accepted it as my lot in life. Nope.

I complained to my doctors, I shared my whoos with friends, family, and you all. I am real big on sharing what you feel ashamed of, embarrassed of. It is amazing the amount of support you get, how all the shame lifts, and the number of people willing to then share their own similar stories.

Doctors on the other hand, they were a big let down. I got tired of feeling ignored when I said, “I have been peeing on myself. And I’m not talking about ‘whoops, there went a dribble’, nooooooo…. I am talking great big water falls”…. but nothing. But then my cousin (a PA, Doctor’s Assistant) was running through all the things that she knew that could cause my latest problem, and one of the things I could double check myself was meds.

I realized that my peeing issue had begun after I started taking a sleeping pill (doctor prescribed), and I immediately stopped taking the pill (TraZODone). Within the week I no longer had to jump on a pillow, a blanket… anything washable really… so that I could was out the urine without pulling up the floor. And when I had a visit with the doctor that prescribed the evil pill, and I explained all this to him, what did he say???

“Oh, yeah… that happens sometimes!”

What the hell… sooo…. beware my peeps… if you are having issues, check your meds… don’t just accept your fate, check the side affects on your meds. I don’t know about you guys but I would rather lose sleep than soak my bed.

Now I am back to editing my next novel.

check out my latest novel, Twin Findings – Finder’s Keepers, book 3

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Keep it Down… Shhh

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I complain about my sleeping issues all the time… to myself, to my dogs and mother… to you guys… it can be maddening… first you deal with the heat and headaches keeping you up at night… and if you’re like me, you end up exhausted after days of little to no sleep… lol… the easiest way for me to get to sleep is to do some research for one of my books… then, heat or no heat, my brain just shuts off… not sure if that counts as sleep or not, but after days of wide-eyed confusion, a girl has to do what a girl has to do…

but my lack of sleep has roots in more than just pain or heat… thinking can keep me up more thoroughly than any pain… it is something that started soon after my diagnosis… or maybe it started getting worse… I’m not sure… but my mind is always on this constant loop of plans, story ideas, sadness (if something happens or I watch a tear jerker), etc… really anything and everything keeps my the hamster wheel I call my thoughts to continuously spin… the one thing I have found that helps is to pop in a movie or tv DVD that I have watched a million times… the sound of something that I practically know by heart helps me sleep… if I have something on that I’ve never seen before, my mind wants to know more… insane, but even a B-rated horror flick would have my eyes popping back open so that I could see what happened next…

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anyone that has watched the first Underworld will (maybe) know what scene I’m talking about when I say that turn on the movie and as soon as the huge (and man, that guy has to be like 7 ft of pure muscle) black man that plays one of the werewolves, screams out ‘bloods’ in his deep bass, then starts shooting in the underground train station, I would start to drift to sleep… lol… for the first three years after my diagnosis, I drifted off to that base growl… poor mom… back then, she was so afraid of losing me that she sleep in the same room…

the room wasn’t really that big, so it wasn’t like she could put her bed far enough away that two hours of vampires, werewolves and gunfire on a loop didn’t keep her awake… but it was either that or I never slept…

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my second fave for a good night’s sleep was Hellboy… still very loud… but maybe a little less gun play… I think it was the sound of rapid fire explosions that quieted my mind, because Underworld was always better at putting me to sleep… but hey, a girl needed a change every once in a while… 😛

these days, it is helpful to put in a tv season that I have watched a million times… but lately, I have been thinking of going back to Underworld… sleeping in the tub is always easy, but I am getting prune lines… later guys… happy wordage…

Nudist Colony here I come…

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I’m meltinggggggg…….. I’m melting… when to the store with mom and she suddenly looks at me, head cocked to the side and asks “Your shirt is wet. Is that sweat under your breasts?”

“Why… yes, yes it is. and thank you for calling attention to the matter….” we were in the middle of Wal-Mart… looking at bras… lol… I felt like promising the sales attendant that I wouldn’t try anything on…

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(well… that pic could mean something completely different… but it was the closest one I could find to what I wanted… )

even if I did move to a nudist colony, I would still run around covered in sweat, my head swelling from the heat… I need shade, a strong breeze and as little clothing as is acceptable… I swear, this heat makes me want to be a man… then I could run around with flip-flops and shorts on, and nothing else… sure, some places demand a shirt and shoes before they will serve ya, but that is what wife beater tees are for…

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unless I can locate one in Antarctica…omg I am burning up… lol… I think I will start sitting on piles of ice throughout the day… in college (due to roommate fights and the heat in the room when someone left the heater on in summer) I would take ice cold bathes before bed, drop my body temperature low enough that I didn’t have time to overheat before I feel asleep… this weather has me eyeballing the tub and thinking about making a run to the store for a bag of ice…

and just think peeps, the worst is yet to come… lets all move north…

but inside with the AC I am cool enough to work on my books… just finished/published the second book in my Finder’s Keepers series… woo who… urban fantasy romance…

if you want book info sign up for my author Newsletter

and keep cool… I’m off for some ice chips and some edits…

mixing in a little pleasure…

Okay… I may be a bit of a Shemar Moore fan… but ever since I found out about his Baby Girl line of clothes and accessories, and the fact that part of the proceeds from sales goes to the National MS society, I have been an uber fan… lol… hot and kind hearted, and an excellent actor…

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Granted, he is an actor… some people are yummy to look at but when you actual meet the real person, their personality sucks… but for intents and purposes, Shemar seems to be the real deal… his Baby Girl line caters to smaller body frames and curvy fuller frames… personally, I have one of the t-shirts and am looking at picking up some sweats… I love my sweats in the winter… it’s about the only time I can wear them, but when the snow falls I want some fuzzy socks and warm sweat pants… (you know… when it gets below zero and my MS says it is finally cold enough… lol)

the sizes seems to range from x-Small to 3x… with a section ranging in the plus sizes from 0-5…

There are Shemar posters, cell phone covers, hats and sexy comfort nighties…

I may need one of the longer t-shirt nighties as well… I love sleeping in long shirts… alrighty… I just wanted to show some of the stuff to be found on Shemar Moore Official Website because I already posted a bunch of stuff for the My Walk Gear website… if you want to check out that post, and the handful of Shemar pics I slipped into the end of the post (I just couldn’t help myself… yummmm) Click HERE … and happy wordage… as an MS sufferer, thanks to everyone throwing out support this month, no matter how you choose to show it… 😛 Tracey

and if you want to donate to Walk MS, Click HERE

or if you just want to check out my Walk MS post, Click HERE

 

Help change the World of MS…

I love this GIF, and felt like posting it a second time… but this post is about an upcoming MS event… Walk MS… you can find both Walk MS and Bike MS events in your area by following the links at the bottom of the post… We have five weeks and two days until the day of the Walk for my area… I will be upping my MS posts until in the meantime… sharing my own MS insanity…

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Starting Monday, March 7th, Fundraising week begins… From Bike MS to Walk MS, there are dozens of ways to show your support… there is even something called Challenge Walk MS… Last year I participated in Walk MS, I even attempted to join in the mile walk around the park… Hmmmmm… that didn’t go so well for me… last year, my walking abilities weren’t as on par as they are this year and I ended up running out of steam less than half way through… it wasn’t pretty… I had to cut through the park, there were tears and embarrassment, but once I calmed down and had a chat with my momma, I enjoyed cheering everyone else on as sat in the shade sweating as if I had just finished a triathlon…

This year the Walk in my area will be across the bridge in neighboring WV… I managed to attempt participating last year because it was downtown at the park… I doubt I will make it this year, but I wanted to give a shout out to everyone giving and participating in this cause…  I also want to participate as a virtual walker…

I have said that MS helped me to find my passion in life, but without the drugs, doctors, and therapies for this disease, MS would have taken my life long ago… it is the support and volunteers that make continued research and development possible… I am grateful to everyone giving their time, donations, or just their kind words… it is because of you that I will get to continue writing and living a life I never envisioned, but that I find small joys in every day… when it comes down to it, it isn’t the big events in life that matter… it is the small moments that mean the most…

If you want to give or join up at your local Walk/Bike MS (and did I mention that Shemar Moore joined in Bike MS last year… yummy… I mean thanks for calling attention to this cause) just …

CLICK HERE to head over to my donation page for this years walk

CLICK HERE to learn more about Walk MS…

CLICK HERE to learn more about Bike MS…

Thank you to everyone taking a moment to learn/give to this cause… and happy wordage everyone…. Tracey Clark

Going back to Bed….

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Lol… sometimes I feel like this pooch… it is just too much energy to move your entire body to see the rest to the room…. like I just need to go back to bed… on those days, I stumble my way through dog duties, and do what little can’t be put off, and then I climb back under the covers…

or maybe this pup is having trouble holding his head up… not from exhaustion, but from a weakness that tells your body that using all the muscles involved to get from point A to point B is just overwhelming… on these days, I can usually find a burst of energy that allows me to spend thirty minutes dealing with morning issues… but then it is all low key, or nothing at all…

but when I have to deal with these days, I know that I will wake up tomorrow or the next day, or the next, and all will go back to normal… okay, normal for me… but it is a normal that I have learned to work with… I have to deal with the problems of the day, and always remember that one misstep doesn’t ruin my life… I know that just because I can’t run my errands today, that doesn’t mean that they will never get done…

I will get my books edited, I will make it to the grocery store, I will find the energy to tackle that task just waiting for my attention… life for a MS patient is one day at a time… but I have found that if there is something that I want to do no matter what, I can rest up… lol… even if it means I am forced to sleep in the bathtub instead of a bed… and if I want to go out of town, I leave a day or two early… I always give myself extra time… even if it is to go visit my cousin out of state… I have to get there, and then I have to rest, all so I can visit without falling asleep at dinner… you have to know the obstacles you face, so that you can get as much out of your life as possible…and everything else can be tackled tomorrow…

 

MS Peeps Join Forces

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I found this on Pinterest… and it reminded me of my life… or of what I want my life to be… I want to make something out of the impossible… Multiple Sclerosis hits each and every person differently… sure there are a lot of similarities, but the extent and the angle of attack seems to always be different…

when I first got sick, I was reduced to the mindset of a toddler… ten years later, I feel as if I have rebuilt myself… I still have a ways to go, but the very fact that I was able to write and complete a novel, that I have a number of others in the works??? this amazes me… and I am grateful… I don’t want anyone to think that my complaints diminish the triumphs I have had…

sure… I still have trouble with Q&A, and with understanding and retaining the research necessary in the writing world… a dozen questions that require me to follow and understand enough to give a cogent answer??? that is a situation that still cause me to become upset as become confused and start to stutter, and then there are the headaches that pop up if I push myself to far…

and the eye crossing research??? an hour of attempting to look up and understand the information on my computer screen also puts me to sleep… when I need to edit or look up some facts, I spend an hour surfing the web, and then I am out like a light for three – five hours… I don’t have a choice… which drives me crazy… why in the world would my body drop off to sleep (aka coma) when most nights I have trouble getting my mind to shut down… I mean, its crazy… I drop off as if I have been drugged… but after a few days of narcolepsy, I and finished, and can rest up for the fun stuff…

it sounds crazy that I need to rest up, but a few days of trying to understand and jot down information feels like my mind has run a 20k… it is down right exhausting… and I feel the weakness in my entire body… thank heavens, when it comes to just making stuff up, my mind works a lot better… too bad I can’t just write my rough drafts and let someone else do the research and edits… (for free of course, since writers are the poorest of poor people…)

on a happy note, I went back to the local writers group… think AA for work-aholics… and there is a new member… and another lover of words that suffers from MS… together we can put our deteriorating brains together and rule the world… muahahahahahaha

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